笑话连天

cd_uestccs

开心一笑，谢谢！

海森高

cd_uestccs 发表于 2013-10-10 21:12
开心一笑，谢谢！

你也来一段儿呗。

cd_uestccs

来，也是拷贝的，也就不漏丑了！

海森高

A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesnt pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, youre going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

海森高

cd_uestccs 发表于 2013-10-11 21:06
来，也是拷贝的，也就不漏丑了！

拷贝好啊！

笑一笑，十年少。

海森高

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Managers door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and theyre really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmos legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena "Im sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.... Not 2 Testicles!"

cd_uestccs

笑话无敌！

海森高

cd_uestccs 发表于 2013-10-13 10:35
笑话无敌！

顶！
祝笑口常开。

海森高

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?" "Why dont you ask the rabbi?" says Morris. Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, "Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?" "No, you may not. Thats utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!" quickly answers the rabbi. Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him. "Im not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, "Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?" To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, "By all means, my good man. By all means."

海森高

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Louisiana. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadnt heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, "What the hecks going on up here? Were having a great time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... YEAH, BUT YOUVE GOT A DRIVER!