笑话连天

海森高

GUppies 发表于 2013-6-26 23:42
不干净，脏了不跟。

〖编辑干净的方法：全选，调整字体和字号，可按默认的“Tahoma  2号”。不行的话就全 ...

谢谢。这种情况还是DW40好使，我的iPad用WD40洗了两遍就跟新的一样了，又可以发帖子了。

海森高

　　小羽找了份上街在电线杆贴小广告的工作，一天200块钱。但是不够花啊，于是小羽又在保洁公司找了一个撕小广告的活……这样，小羽一天能挣400块钱，而且还。。。。。。

GUppies

找到清理的方法了：
选择右上角的“高级”，再点它下面的“纯文本”。那些鬼符号马上现形，你就可以把它们逐一删除了。
下例我清理了前两段——


小羽和哥哥两个人去提款机取钱，正好遇见运钞车来加钞。无奈之下两人只好站在一旁苦苦等候，这时小羽问哥哥说：冻手不？ 哥哥冷冷地回一句：冻手！结果四杆枪瞬间指向他们俩……他们两个人被抓住送往派出所，在路上小羽小声问哥哥：你怎么不开腔？结果八杆枪瞬间指向他俩… 到了警局，俩人坐一排。

警察问：叫什么名字？

哥哥很镇静地大声说：蒋英羽。

警察又问一遍，叫什么名字？

哥哥更大声地回答：蒋英羽！

警察愣了一下，突然大声吼道：what are your names?

这下哥俩害怕了(沉默）。

警察再次怒吼道：what are your names?

小羽急了，大声回答道：蒋国羽！


或用“清除文本格式”功能试看。我也成功过。

海森高

GUppies 发表于 2013-6-30 09:40
找到清理的方法了：
选择右上角的“高级”，再点它下面的“纯文本”。那些鬼符号马上现形，你就可以把它们 ...

谢谢。

这个方法好使。

GUppies

好吧，说话算数，干净了就跟一个：

Teacher: Tommy, name five things that contain milk.
Tommy: Okey, Butter and cheese, ice-cream, and ........................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and ...............................................................................................
and two cows.

海森高

"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl asked. "No, I dont think so. Fifi is in heat," replied the mother. "What does that mean?" asked the child. Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a biological discussion with her young daughter, the Mother said, "Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Fifi for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in heat, and that I had to come talk to you." Not wanting to have the biological discussion either, the father said, "Bring Fifi over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dogs rear end with it. "Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash and you can only go around the block once."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash. "Where is Fifi?" her father asked. "She should be here in a minute," advised the daughter. "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."

GUppies

海森高 发表于 2013-6-27 22:02
　　小羽找了份上街在电线杆贴小广告的工作，一天200块钱。但是不够花啊，于是小羽又在保洁公司找了一个撕 ...

记得有篇讽刺经济学家的笑话，不知道跟你这个到底是谁学谁。大意是：

两位经济学家一起走路，突然看见一泡狗屎，甲对乙说：“你要把它吃了，我给你100万。”乙便吃了，得了甲的100万。走没多久，又看见一泡狗屎，乙对甲说：“你要把它吃了，我也给你100万。”甲也吃了，拿回了那100万。他们都颇为得意的齐声说：我们这阵子就创造了200万的GDP!!

—— 我这只是找乐子，丝毫没有奚落学经济的童鞋的意思哦！！！

海森高

海森高 发表于 2013-7-9 20:25
"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl asked. "No, I dont think so. F ...

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but Im not that kind!" "Actually, Ive never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."

海森高

GUppies 发表于 2013-7-10 00:56
记得有篇讽刺经济学家的笑话，不知道跟你这个到底是谁学谁。大意是：

两位经济学家一起走路，突然看见一 ...

经济学家吃屎也算GDP，就算是一种理论吧。可是没看见开增值税发票。。。。。。

海森高

A captain of his ship was sailing the seas one afternoon, when suddenly over the horizon a pirate ship was seen. The captain yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and hand me my red jacket." To which one of the crew members complied and handed him his jacket which he put on. The battle ended victoriously for the ship and his captain and they continued on in their voyage. Later, they again spotted pirates, this time two ships were a approaching. "Men, we must go to battle again! Someone get me my red jacket!" And a crew member brought the jacket and the captain put it on. After a fierce war, and a truly stunning effort of the ships crew, the pirates were defeated. Noticing a trend, one of the ships crew members approaches the captain, "Why is it every time we go to war with another ship, you request to wear your red jacket?" To which the captain replies, "Well, if for some reason I should be injured and bleed, the red jacket will not show my wounds and thus the crew will not be alarmed and worried of my condition." The crew member agrees that this is a good strategy and continues with his work. Later that day over the horizon, a massive fleet of pirate ships, 10 in all, come over the horizon. The nervous crew looks up at the captain and he yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and hand me my brown pants!"